Is that from a song? or is that something you wrote?  It sounds pretty deep.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for your response.  I honestly like the way you think and reason, and you do make a point about the impossibility of being sinless in this world.  That's reality.  I know I'm not perfect.  I want to be, but I never attain. 

But when I read Scriptures like Romans 6:1-4, it says "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?  Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore, we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raisesd from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life."  And I can't help but be encouraged to live a sanctified life. 

I agree with you.  Life is a journey, and as we continue our walk with Jesus, He continues to sanctify us through His Holy Spirit.  If He continues to sanctify us, then obviously, we have never reached perfection. 

However, deep in my heart, I want to believe that I can.  I really want to rise above the reality of my flesh (or my "old" man)  and into the reality of the Spirit (or my "new" man).  I want to take John at his word where he says in 1 John 2:1a, "My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin."  I want to believe that with all my heart.  I want to believe that God's Word was designed for me to not sin against God.  I hate it when I mess up.  I really do.  God deserves better than me, and yet my best is still like.... yuck. I keep going back to 1 John 2:1b where it says, "And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the rigtheous." 

I probably sound like a paradox right now.  haha! First, I write to you, saying that it's possible for me to love God with all my heart, and now I'm writing to you that maybe it's not possible because of my natural tendencies. 

So let me say this.  I know that without faith, it's impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:somewhere). I also know that I have lapses of faith just like the 12 disciples.  But somehow, I want to believe that after so many mistakes, the 12 disciples came to a place in their heart that all they wanted to do each day is to love Jesus more and more.  And the more they loved Him, the less they thought about sinning against God. 

Let me assume that you and I are good potential spouses for the ones that God has prepared for us.  I don't think that we would EVER cheat on our spouses.  If it ever crossed our mind, I'm sure we'll deal with it quickly.  And I will say that by God's grace, we will NEVER cheat on our spouses. 

However, I don't know why that in my marriage with Jesus, I find myself cheating on Him.  I hate it when I go to other things to take pleasure instead of Jesus. I hate it when I have that tendency.  I don't think it's fair.  I wouldn't like it if my future spouse cheated on me, so if I don't like that, then why do I do that to Jesus? 

Then I hear Jesus say to me, "My grace is sufficient for you."  And I smile and say thanks, but then I do it again the next day.  And I know it grieves Him.  And the feeling sucks. 

All I'm saying right now, and I'm pointing the fingers on me and no one else, is that I want to believe that I can love Jesus with all my heart, mind, soul and strength.  I want to access that by faith, so I can make Him happy.  I want to come to that place in my life where I don't grieve Jesus anymore here on earth.  If any other Christian stumbles and always grieves Jesus, then that's something between him and the Lord.  I don't get into Jesus' business with that person. 

But for me, I want to believe that Jesus can take me to that place where I can love Him the way He deserves to be loved.  He died for me.  It's the least I can do after all that He's done for me. I'm not loving Him so I get brownie points in heaven.  I want to love Him because that leads me to worship Him in spirit and in truth. 

I know it sounds impossible that I'll ever get there.  I even doubt myself each day.  But deep in my heart, I got this stubborn part of me that keeps believing that I'll love Jesus with all my heart, one day.  And I keep believing in that until it finally happens. 

I'm not sure if I'm making any sense, but I really hope I can be an encouragement to you.  After all, that's why Christ made us part of His body.  He made us so that we can strengthen each other (Ephesians 4:15-16).